choke
ТОСКА.
tos-ka
— The inevitable feeling that nothing will be the same ever again, the sort of clenching sadness that grips the emptiness inside you and squeezes hard enough that you feel, for a moment, like there's something there, like God is looking down upon you with a shotgun in his hand. Rifle shots ring out on a drum set. Тоска is loneliness, Тоска is pain so severe it makes you believe you have a heart.